Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 136652 times)

Offline MacGeek

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #885 on: May 23, 2019, 01:00:17 PM »
As someone of a certain age, I love this
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #886 on: June 05, 2019, 08:51:49 AM »
Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance.
It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones was having a staggeringly high success-rate, selling insurance to nearly 100% of the recruits he advised.
Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones' sales pitch.
Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said:
"If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries.
If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000.
Now," he concluded, "which group do you think they are going to send into battle first?"
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Sir Thrift-a-Lot

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #887 on: November 30, 2019, 11:26:27 AM »
I saw this and thought it belonged here.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #888 on: November 30, 2019, 03:56:57 PM »
Ha!

Offline MacGeek

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #889 on: November 30, 2019, 04:17:46 PM »
I agree, it does belong here
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #890 on: March 23, 2020, 05:58:23 PM »
Never met Kingman, miss his daily starters. Maybe we can continue the thread?

However, for the time being nothing but inside jokes.

Offline Sir Thrift-a-Lot

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #891 on: March 23, 2020, 11:00:21 PM »
Good one.

I think jokes in your own yard are also allowed as long as they are at least six feet from any other joke.

Offline EmperorNorton

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #892 on: March 24, 2020, 06:43:15 AM »


A dying-of-thirst man is crawling through the desert and comes upon a tie salesman. He cries out,
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #893 on: March 24, 2020, 10:30:30 AM »


A dying-of-thirst man is crawling through the desert and comes upon a tie salesman. He cries out,

A good joke leaves the audience in suspense...for a little while.

Offline EmperorNorton

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #894 on: March 24, 2020, 12:49:38 PM »
A dying-of-thirst man is crawling through the desert and comes upon a tie salesman.
He cries out, Water, water.
The tie salesman says that he does not have any water, but would he like to buy a tie?
The dying remain cries out No, just water.
The tie salesman tells him I do not have any water, but you can get some at the inn that is 4 miles away.
A day goes by, and the tie salesman encounters the same man crawling from the other direction.
His face is on fire.
The salesman asks the man   Did you not get any water at the inn?   
The dying man replies   No. They would not let me in without a tie.
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #895 on: March 25, 2020, 09:59:54 AM »
I recently bought a toilet brush, I'm going back to toilet paper.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #896 on: March 26, 2020, 10:11:31 AM »
I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey, but I turned myself around.

Offline EmperorNorton

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #897 on: March 26, 2020, 01:25:51 PM »
Would you happen to be a fan of Bojack Horseman  ?  That song was featured prominently in one of the last episodes of the series.   

Probably just synchronicity....
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Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #898 on: March 26, 2020, 05:21:34 PM »
Can't say I've heard of Bojak Horseman.

Offline rgpit

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #899 on: March 26, 2020, 10:57:48 PM »

Found out why the Covid virus spread so quickly in Italy. They pasta virus to each other.
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