Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 145789 times)

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1050 on: September 13, 2020, 09:28:26 AM »
First rule of passive aggressive club is...you know what what, nevermind, it's fine.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1051 on: September 14, 2020, 09:40:56 AM »
There's a fine line between numerator and denominator. Some people can appreciate that, others don't. The division is clear.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1052 on: September 15, 2020, 09:32:36 AM »
I bought a world map for my wife, and gave her a dart.

I said, "Where ever this lands, that's where I am taking you after this pandemic is over."

Turns out we are spending two weeks behind the fridge.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1053 on: September 17, 2020, 09:14:29 AM »
I proposed to my ex wife.

She said no. She thinks I'm just after my money.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1054 on: September 19, 2020, 10:09:38 AM »
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words..."Are you still holding the ladder?"

Offline vpgh

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1055 on: September 19, 2020, 11:25:45 PM »
 :laugh:

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1056 on: September 20, 2020, 10:32:08 AM »
What's the opposite of mansplaining?

Missunderstanding.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1057 on: September 21, 2020, 09:23:20 AM »
What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1058 on: September 22, 2020, 09:20:43 AM »
My wife told me, "if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new".

Apparently "anything" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1059 on: September 23, 2020, 09:44:18 AM »
The #1 pencil in the world is actually #2.

Offline scorpio333

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1060 on: September 24, 2020, 09:47:06 AM »
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from Rhode Island.

The sheriff asks for license and registration.

The lawyer asks, "What for?"

The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently.

The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

Offline MacGeek

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #1061 on: September 24, 2020, 12:18:23 PM »
 :)
Mac stuff, Sony HDR-F1HD AM/FM/HD tuner, Yamaha K-1020 cassette, Denon CDR-W1500 CD recorder, Music Hall MMF-9 w/B&O MMC2, Tandberg 10X