Author Topic: Daily starters  (Read 89068 times)

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #750 on: May 21, 2018, 07:33:57 AM »
 All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #751 on: May 26, 2018, 09:15:16 AM »
 Money can't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy... ;)
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #752 on: May 29, 2018, 09:35:56 AM »
 "Doc, I can't stop singing "The green green grass of home"." "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual."
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!

Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #753 on: June 01, 2018, 06:24:24 AM »
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #754 on: June 02, 2018, 07:16:27 AM »
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #755 on: June 05, 2018, 06:22:21 AM »
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #756 on: June 06, 2018, 07:30:40 PM »
Censor: a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #757 on: June 15, 2018, 07:31:21 AM »
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #758 on: June 28, 2018, 10:01:19 AM »
Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
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Offline Jim Pittsburgh

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #759 on: June 28, 2018, 04:30:44 PM »
Nice to see you posting again.... it had been a while
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #760 on: July 09, 2018, 07:12:33 AM »
Justice: A decision in your favor... ;)
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #761 on: July 09, 2018, 07:14:29 AM »
Nice to see you posting again.... it had been a while
Thanks Jim!...I believe it's easier to get through ever day with a laugh.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #762 on: July 21, 2018, 11:36:37 AM »
Today's subliminal message is . . .
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #763 on: July 23, 2018, 07:06:49 AM »
I'm in a long distance relationship, her restraining order ends tomorrow.
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Offline Kingman

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Re: Daily starters
« Reply #764 on: July 25, 2018, 07:02:52 AM »
My friends laughed at me when I told them I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary. Well the jokes on them they're imaginary too!
IN REALITY IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE TO YOU!!!!!